Wednesday, October 31, 2018

I learned fear and anger at a young age,
I learned to make myself hard and sharp
And strong and fierce.

When the child arrived, he was soft
And smooth and round. He was happy
And unafraid.

I made myself into a cage for him,
My sharp corners and hard edges facing
Outward, warding off the world.

The child is still soft, has not learned
To be afraid. His glow shines between
My ribs, and I keep him safe in me.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

I am become flame,
White and blue, and I roar
With the multitudes.

Even the stars are fire,
And baby, I burn.

Friday, October 12, 2018

The Queen of Nothing walks in darkness,
Feet light on dark permafrost, land barren
But for the wolves at her heels.

The moon shines down on her, distant sister-
For the moon was a queen herself, once, but now
Only rules the night, her stars so distant
As to be nothing more than memories. 
It’s already too warm out, air heavy and wet and no real
Wind to ease the pressure but then
There’s a breeze coming off the fields and through town
And on its way to you it stops by
Every lilac bush it can find so it can drop
A full bouquet in your nose and for that brief, too-brief
Moment you can remember why some people
Love the spring.
 When I found myself again, I walked out of the church,
Away from the family that tried to make me their own.

I took communion from starlight and rainwater,
Found my temple in glacial mountains and thick trees.

The forest called to me, and I followed,
And I found my gods there, beneath the litter and the humus,

The god of growing and the god of decay, and I heard them
Sing to me through time and memory.

My gods sent me back out of the forest,
To the barren treeline near the city, ignored by suburban sprawl.

My brothers know where to find me now.
Away from our father’s house, they hear the call.

Someday my mother will come, and I will show her my garden,
My mausoleum, show her how to feed on death and feed the living.

When the church is empty my family will scatter with the winds
And fill all the corners of the earth.

The forest calls to me, but I am a good daughter and I will wait,
And when my time is come I will return to my gods and rest.


Friday, September 21, 2018

Hannibal

When I was very young my father
Let me watch The Silence
Of the Lambs. My mother
Wasn’t happy when she found out;
I was nervous, too sensitive
For something that disturbing.

I had nightmares, for as long
As I can remember. Dark
Figures following me, chasing
Me, frightening me back
To wakefulness.

The dark men followed me down
My school hallway, I ran,
Stumbling over smooth tiles,
Turned a corner and ran into
Dr. Lecter, waiting with open arms.

He ate the dark men and smiled
At me. I grew wings and he
Waved at me when I flew
Away.